hollywood's smoke and mirrors...

O.K.
  So this is getting too me. I find it competely insane that it's ass back wards on getting into porn vs. mainstream work..  you would ASSUME that you have to sleep with some shady/ sleezy director to get into porn.. and you would again ASSUME the to get into mainstream you get an agent/ manager, go to auditions, and climb the ranks. Well from what I have been seeing lately its completly the oppisite. I been now filming in porn now for about 2 1/2 yrs, it's been bumpy at times and hell still is lol, but i dont have to suck some fucks cock to get the gig  * they've seen me do that, and more.

Mean while here I am trying to do a lil crossover over work, and what do I run into? 
WOW ........some sleezball
*obviously drugged to the gills, if the phone call 5 minutes ago is any clue, its 3:30 am at the moment... 
 Yes thats right, i just got a call from some agent/ manager that I WAS talking too about modeling and acting, calling to get me to come over to his place and fool around, and didnt think that the time was an issue.. REALLY? are you that cocked up you didnt realized the time..?

Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm the one who is crazy here, and just maybe just maybe I am bitching about a system that has been in place for a long time and isnt gonna change anytime soon......
But GOD FUCKING DAMN IT, why do I have to deal with meth heads????? 
Why can't I just find someone in mainstream that isnt a fucking douche' bag, I'm not trying to fool myself into think I'm gonna be some big actor or anything like that. I just want to work on some smaller works until I get better at acting and modeling. It's not like I'm some prude either, I just wont do coke or meth. Leave me to the psycho-active's, and the weed. Thats all i need.
But really people lets try and keep off the nasty stuff and if you MUST do it...... dont call me!!  espeacially at 3:30 in the fucking morning you fucking coke head!!! 

oh yeah heres yur clue..
   Elton    Til**r  
call me a cunt idc, but this shit needs to stop